Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize