just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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