If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
