It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
