he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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