honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
