it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
