you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize