"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Mom said you looked used
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
