First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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