Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
