Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
