My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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