I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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