He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
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There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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