I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Never joke about your clitoris.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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