More tranny stories later!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
