he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize