You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
