I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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