Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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