i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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