you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
