My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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