We won't sleep together?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
