Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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