Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
