And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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