they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
