He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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