she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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