I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize