you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So vagazzling was a success
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
