Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

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(312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.

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(774): his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW. http://tfl.nu/joal

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(343): View more from Ontario

STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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(343): STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS. http://tfl.nu/4nyg

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(240): View more from Maryland

I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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(240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51

Replies (98) Good night (27395) Bad night (1755)
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(564): View more from Washington

I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.

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(564): I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home. http://tfl.nu/c3b2

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You know i think she's just using me for sex

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I hate you.

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(608): You know i think she's just using me for sex (1-608): I hate you. http://tfl.nu/pxkn

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget

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(781): Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget http://tfl.nu/1lyj

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(970): View more from Colorado

Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.

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(970): Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did. http://tfl.nu/3qcv

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.

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(204): Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out. http://tfl.nu/sq7d

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(360): View more from Washington

Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.

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(360): Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name. http://tfl.nu/xkiq

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!

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(701): Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice! http://tfl.nu/fa1l

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(208): View more from Idaho

I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

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(208): I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear http://tfl.nu/1f0a

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(661): View more from California

Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw

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(661): Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw http://tfl.nu/sucz

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.

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(780): I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat. http://tfl.nu/b7sx

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(+32): View more from Belgium

You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...

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(+32): You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep... http://tfl.nu/47cg

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