In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?