i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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