My hair reeks of homosexuality.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
