I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize