i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
two words: eviction party
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
