My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
