In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Randomize
