just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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