Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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