come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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