so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize