i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
