IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
how does that bad decision feel?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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