Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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