Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize