I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
