Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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