I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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