On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
