Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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