we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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