Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
