did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
