I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
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I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize