i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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