The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
