Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
