i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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