you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
tonight lets celebrate not being married
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
