3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
